But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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