I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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