sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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