I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
