I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize