It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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