Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
