Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
