I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
