so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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