You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
only if we run a train.
done.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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