no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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