My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
