it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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