There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
