I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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