I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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