Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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