Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
