So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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