What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
