But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
