maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
