don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
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