I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
