GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
