Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
