you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
