marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
