This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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