I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
