my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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