did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I need a beard to bite.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
