Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
