So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
the raccoons are back...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
