You really coming over, don't trick.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
