if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
