"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
