We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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