nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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