All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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