Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
