Dual....:-)
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
should my penis look like a turkey
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
