Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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