She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
