never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
