For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
