I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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