I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
