I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize