You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
