she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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