He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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