He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
