I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize