and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize