another moral hangover. fuck.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
