But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
