so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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