You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
