Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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