I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
