im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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