I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
