Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Girls should come with a carfax report
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
