life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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