i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
