i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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